Tag Archives: Family stories

Two Songs for One Opening


J.K.Leahy memoir stories ©

“I have a song”, I told my mother over the phone. The regular 30 minute costly international call between PNG and Australia started with muffled voices. And then, depending on who had used her phone, my mother came on when the phone was passed back to her. Sometimes Mother had to find a good spot to get the best reception. And sometimes her voice changed and I knew other ears were listening. Not all will be discussed, some things will come in the future conversation.

“Hello Ma. Are you there?”

Someone is talking in the background and she is telling them to be quiet. I smiled at myself as the picture of her room flashed in my head with the village dogs barking in the background.

“Hello!”

Family discussions and on-going feuds took up the 30 minutes so quickly. As creators of art and music, my mother and I had agreed on many occasions that we would rather sing and ‘stori’ then exchange on family heartaches. Telling stories about happy occasions and things we enjoyed often took up between ten to five minutes of the entire call.

“What song?” my mother responded.

“A song for the church opening”, I replied in Bukawac.

My mother is the village composer and musician. Not me. I am a dancer, creator of crafts and beautiful things and a fisherman.I cal also catch eels but not my mother. And Mother is not a dancer so Tinang, my grandmother and my aunts taught me. My mother did not teach me to compose nor play instruments, but we still sang together. If I wanted music – she played Skeeta Davies and Jim Reeves and Elvis. She also played her flute.

“Which opening – our village one?”

We sang every day in the evenings with my grandmother when she was alive. There was a ten-pact short biblical songs we sang at dusk. They were my favourite. If we sang at home in the village, all my aunts joined in. My mother returned to the phone after telling someone to close her door.

“Do you want to hear my song?” I said.

“Yamandu? (Really?)” she said.

“Yamandu!” I repeated. That means “true”. I wanted so badly for her to focus and listen my song.

In Wagang Village, all families were asked to contribute to the new village church opening. This was last Christmas. Monetary contribution was at the forefront of this event. In the past when I was growing up, each family whether they were crafts people, hunters or fisherman would be invited to contribute what they had, made and grew. Not anymore. Money was first.

“I may not have enough to give to the church so I wanted to gift a song,” I said. That sentence went to a silent respond. I wasn’t sure if that was good or bad. I suspected it wasn’t what she anticipated. Perhaps there was more to the silence that I wasn’t aware of.

I let the silent pass. In the background I heard my sister scolding my nephew. I didn’t want to ask my mother why my sister was doing that.

I had composed this song one afternoon at my studio. It just happened. And tonight was the first my mother heard of it. She probably expected me to just send some money. She waited for me to explain.

“I will sing it for you Ma,” I said in Bukawac. “I had composed this song for the opening and you and your sisters can sing it on our behalf”.

“Okay” she said.

The church project was instigated by the provincial government in Morobe Province, Papua New Guinea. The villagers had been waiting for a church for over three decades. The first church was built by the people themselves – each family contributed the materials showing their craftsmanship through handwoven walls, brackets of pulled and dried rattan, carved seats, and hand sewn sago palm leaves. It was a church none of us growing up with it would ever forget because of its aesthetic beauty and the fabric of a cohesive and supporting community sewn together. In time the church building deteriorated. The maintenance did not happen. The relationships in leadership, the respect between the elders and the younger generation became difficult to maintain and the cohesiveness slowly came apart. Termites slowly and quietly menaced their way into what was left of the handcrafted building. It was sad.

“Ma! Are you there?” I asked her.

“Mnem!” (Sing!) she said. I gathered my thoughts. I was only singing to my mother, but it suddenly felt like I was about to face a grand stand with thousands of people.

My mother is known in our family and the community for her music. She was the composer of original songs and songs she translated from different languages into ours – Bukawac and Yabem. Her music contributes to the Lutheran church for openings, ‘sam katong’, large church gatherings of multiple congregations, and many village events. She was a trained muscian. Germans during the colonial era taught her flute, guitar, harmonica and singing at Bula Girls School, not only did she get trained by Germans to nurse, but also to sing and play numerous instruments. The flute was and still is her favourite.

“It’s called “Conversation with God,” I gave her the title. “It’s between God and I,” I said.

“Mnem!,” mnem ma au wangu”, she said. “Sing! Sing it so I can hear it”, she said and although she softly spoke, I detected the excitement in her voice.

“Ae ngoc geng masi, ae ngoc ming masi, ae gameng gebe yagung yawing aom.” (I have nothing, no words, but I came to sit with you).

I sang the first verse and chorus and then stopped and there wasn’t a single sound from the phone. I wrote the song in Yabem. This was the ‘church language’ like many church hymns – they were in Yabem. I learnt this language by listening to my mother, her parents and two brothers speak it to each other. My grandfather was a teacher and most of his teachings were in Yabem. My late Uncle Kwaslim mostly communicated in Yabem – it was his favourite language.

“Mama! Mama!” I called into the phone.

“I’m here”, she said.

“Did you like the song?”

She was very quiet. Then she said, “It’s beautiful! I don’t know what else to say”.

Three months later my mother tells me that she also composed a song for the opening and she sings it over the phone to me. It was very beautiful – but that is another story.

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(If you like my stories, please share them). I thank you all for being here. If you’re new to my blog – welcome! For all my friends who have been with me for a while, I appreciate you and I want to sincerely thank you for your patience. I have been away for a long while and working on other projects. I will share the news here soon.

The Carrot and the Eggplant


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Chris the carrot (left) and Ethan the eggplant.

The carrot and the egg-plant showed up at our house today. In actual fact, the carrot slept in our house and the eggplant came to meet his fellow ‘vege’. These two ‘vegetables’ were preparing for the Year 12 free dress day at Kenmore High School, Brisbane. My son Chris and his friend Ethan have almost reached the end of high school. The dress-up is the beginning of the ending. These two had to dress as a vegetable that shared the first letter in their names. That’s why the boys used the letters “c” and “e”.  Now, who could have thought of such a thing?

Watching them from the window as they were painting their limbs, I thought they were heading in the right direction – they had the right colours. After an hour, I came down to photograph the boys and started to laugh. Instead of two vegetables, two aliens were peaking back at me behind large bug eyes.

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“You don’t look like vegetables, at least not the real vegetables – perhaps the futuristic vegetables,”  I said.

They were not impressed with my jokes. ………………………………………………….

Next post – 150 word story.

Story-telling At Its Best


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With my mother Freda on my right and my Aunt Ruth Tobias and my close friend Abuc Nagong in front. Bowali, Oct 2015.

My sons and I enjoyed our trip back to Lae, PNG – where we come from. I had not gone back to my village for seven and my sons for eight years. It was a long time. My reasons are too complicated to explain, but I could not wait any longer to return. The best part about our return was the story-telling and catching up. This was how we did it – sitting in a circle and chewing betel nut while we tell the stories. We tried to do this at least a few hours each day.

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My mother and all my aunts chewing betel nut and story-telling on our lawn.

Treasured Rubbish: Island Stuff


My cousin Greg returned to Papua New Guinea with his family after six years in Brisbane. It was a sudden decision and he wanted his family to move back with him to assist with his new business. Greg’s wife and children packed up the house and left yesterday morning on the flight to the capital, Port Moresby. We were all very sad. Greg and his brother Bob’s children and my sons were all about the same age and they enjoyed growing up together as a family. It was the same with us, their parents. We were close.

For the past two days, I had gone to cheer up my cousin sister-in-law Ufi, Greg’s wife while she packed. Yesterday we shared food, cups of tea and lots of stories as she started cleaning. I helped her with some tenancy documents and returned home late.  The next day, after the family had left for the airport, I returned to the house they had rented about 3pm, to tidy up, remove rubbish and pick up some hand-woven mats and coconut brooms from PNG that Ufi had left for me. These were treasured items and knowing how valuable they were, my sister-in-law left her old ones for me.

On arrival, I saw a truck parked and loaded up to the brim. Two men, one Pacific Islander and the other, a Caucasian, I was not sure where he was from, were loading furniture and everything they could get. Then they tried to tie it down with ropes.  Greg’s wife had told me she sold some furniture to a Samoan. She had said, the buyer was coming to pick up the three pieces of furniture, but, these two men loaded everything.

The Islander (Samoan) asked who I was and if I had come to pick up things I bought. I told him I was family and I had come to clean and pick up my Pandanus mats and coconut brooms.

“I can’t find them, they were suppose to be here in the corner”, I said looking at him.

After some hesitation, the man said, he had loaded the brooms and mats. I wanted to laugh but I kept a straight face. I knew these were old and used. The mats were ripped. I looked at him and smiled.

He went to the truck and unpacked the load. He found and gave me back the brooms and the two mats. He asked, embarrassed,  if he could keep the mattresses and the other household items and I told him, he could keep them. He explained to his friend, he had to return the “island stuff”.

I thanked them and explained that the brooms and mats were from PNG and I could not let him have them because they were hard to get into Brisbane, Australia. The man knew the quarantine process for importing such items would have been horrid. He understood. I felt sorry for him because as an islander himself, I knew he would have been so excited to find these treasured island ‘rubbish’ before I had arrived on the scene and ruined it for him.

 

When you write, who will you hurt?


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Photo: Greg Broom

That was the question of our discussion in creative writing workshop tonight.  My friend Bill Heather is an architect. He is also a writer in my creative writing workshop group. The group is tutored by Isabel D’Avila Winter, a published author. Pamela Jeffs, another writer-friend suggested that I should blog this discussion and my own response, to help writers who are planning to write autobiographies and memoirs or fiction based on real life stories.  I begin with Bill’s email to me and others in our group.

Bill Heather: Hello all you aspiring and proven writers,

  • Is there a limit to what you can mine from your own life experiences for a story?
  • Are authors of autobiographical fiction or memoir at risk of alienating their family and friends in their search for that elusive storyline?
  • Is ruthlessness in search of your best fiction a necessary attribute of a writer?
  • Would you publish a story if it could destroy the marriage of your closest friend?

There are good questions to ponder as we head towards the end of another year, and ones which are addressed in the attached article from the November 2014 issue of the Monthly. Link at the end of my response to Bill.

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Omar Momani: Ferguson’s pen mightier than the sword 

My Response to Bill: Dear Bill and friends,

Thank you Bill. I found the article very interesting and very true. The most safe writing would be fiction.

The pen does ‘cut’ deeper than the sword.

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Source: http://typem4murder.blogspot.com.au/2013/09/undeniable-proof-that-pen-is-mightier.html

 

In my Memoir writing, I question everything I write. I know there will be a lot of ‘hurt’ of others as well as my own. I have created pain in many stories I read in our evening workshop. For example, if I had told my mother the old uncle rubbed my sore leg the ‘wrong way’ I think there would have been some serious charges or bloodshed in my family. The man is dead now but if I spoke about it now – what could happen? I don’t know. I also spoke to my mother and step brother about some stories I have written so far, and we discussed them. These stories were all painful…my stepbrother is my late step father’s son. But my step brother is my best friend – we are very close.

So my point is, as often as I do, I ask, should I just change my memoir to fiction and pretend it is not me or get my ‘freedom to express’ in fiction? Perhaps some stories could be written differently, safely..? Those and others are questions I ask myself all the time. 75% of what I have written, I don’t bring it to our workshop, I am scared to. Sometimes, I write the whole thing and then delete it.
Every now and then, I write fiction for the class exercises, because, this gives me the freedom to write freely without guilt, pain, horror and more. I totally lose myself in the ‘fake’ when I write fiction.
I deal with my writing the truth ‘problem’ this way; I write about me, the events, people and places and things that affect me. I write it all, then I decide what I can manage to live with, and I keep that story. I tell myself, ‘stop thinking about everyone else’. I just write ‘my’ story. I can always pull out what I think is too much at the end of the day. The final choice is mine, and I have to live with it.

I hope that makes sense.

Joycelin

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Click here to read the article by Ceridwen Dovey : Monthly 11.14 pp42-45